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Time to share

Anybody out there with pictures, stories, anything, please know, now is the perfect time to share.

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Brad had asked me for a lamp I had and I gave it to him. He bought an energy efficient bulb for it (that's our Brad). It was on that night, and burned all week near him. I am turning that on today, and it wil stay lit all week for Brad and his light.

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A Year?

A YEAR? No way. Two weeks. MAYBE two months. But Kristin nailed it. 365 days of pain and emptiness and missing Brad. How can I have this big of an empty space inside of me and still hold so much anguish? KEEP HIM WITH YOU FOREVER PLEASE. DON’T LET HIS ESSENCE SLIP AWAY FROM YOU. If it was different, he would hold any of you close to him always. I hurt. I miss him so so much.

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Trying to make sense of what is happening

Kind of like a best seller. huh? Oh God, did you hear she has a new book out? Another peek into the insanity in her head! Yes but it’s so entertaining. I left some spaces for you Mari. :)

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Stuck on this picture...

Is it coincidence that I keep seeing this picture even though it is supposed to be random images? http://bradcassidy.com/node/392

I know he is passed out drunk in the photo, but it still breaks my heart. I had some rough times recently, and I am starting to feel the anniversary coming up, even though I poo-poohed it earlier. It is strange because I have no dread over the day coming up, but I am very tense and sensitive regardless.

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A year of something missing...

Wow, it really snuck up on me. I just realized a few days ago, a whole year has gone by...

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"Control"

“Control”
United Kingdom
Directed by Anton Corbijn

Writer's block with writing about what others have written...

I'm stuck. I've read The Catcher in the Rye three times since I got it from Brad's collection. I've read The Crisis of Islam. I've read nearly all of The Invisibles. I understand not being able to write about the last two... they were so full of historical and geographical information that my head spins trying to recall any details. The Catcher in the Rye, though...

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made me smile

I've moved my desk at work a few times in the last few months, and didn't know when I would move again... they were supposed to be fairly short-term moves. I just took what I needed to work with, and Brad's picture did not go with. I just put it up again today. There is a guy that sits by me, and I was sort of disgusted to watch him throw his scratch paper in the regular garbage. I was really disgusted to see him do this on a regular basis. What bothers me more than anything is that this is an engineer with five kids...

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GODDAMNITFUCK!

we have all wished we could go back in time, but with what we know now, of course. let me please go back in time with only one thing from this day. only one thought. one thing that i would not know why it keeps flashing in my brain all the time. i'll forsake getting rich by knowing the future. i'll give up the knowledge that i could have gotten laid sooner and more often with more girls. i just want to bring one thought back with me and i will go through all the pain just the way it was, except for how i would use this...

help brad always.