I would love to know so much now that I did not know about Brad. It really tears me up that I cannot ask him about all the interesting things I am finding out about him. I always felt close to him, but yet I see I did not know even half of what there was to know about Brad. We would talk on the phone for hours at a time and there was so much we did not talk about. I am starting to see that I think there were many different Brad's. The Brad that was his mother's son, the Brad that was Patrick's brother, the Brad that was Marianne's brother, the Brad that was my brother. There was also the Brad that was Kate's husband and friend and Emily’s daddy. Then there was Brad that was Chad’s best friend and “wingman” in life. There was the Brad that his friends knew and the list goes on. As I talk to people and hear people talk, one constant is apparent. I am in awe at how deeply he really touched every person he came in contact with. He does not seem to have just been someone people knew, but someone that people loved. All people. I like to say he knew how much he was loved and liked, but how could he?

When will I realise and accept that you are gone; that you're coming back?

Puppies make most normal people smile... here is mine.

Her name is Payton (after Walter not Manning). She is about the size of a grapefruit right now =)

I bought this card for Brad's birthday that he would have had this year because it was absolutely perfect. It was bought before he died, but the words are still perfect.

My Son,

Wherever life takes you.....  on gentle breezes, beneath bright skies , over smooth  waters.   Love goes with you.

I was playing an online video game. The same one I always play. Talking to fellow players. We were discussing how easy modern technologies make it to communicate. Cross country, even world wide. The thought of my friend Brad popped in my brain. I hadn't seen him in 20? years. I googled....and I never expected to come across this sad information. Sorry to everyone on this loss.

Empty-handed I entered the world

Barefoot I leave it.

My coming, my going --

Two simple happenings

That got entangled.

I was driving this morning, running some errands and listening to some music when a song came on my iPod that Brad and I both liked and that he had given me on a CD sometime within the last year or so. It made me think of him and in the past whenever I would hear or see things that reminded me of him or times we had shared together, I would give him a call and say, "hey! I was listening to this song....." and we'd talk about how awesome it was or something.

The Next Place by Warren Hanson

I want to thank you for your post. It seems as though you have given everybody else the green light to share their thoughts and hopefully get some of it out.  It is like permission has been given to vent and release a little. 

Yesterday, I sat still and wept over you. There were no words, only tears. The pain I was in was palpable. And the one person I wanted to say it to, you, weren't there.

I wanted things to work out between us. I wanted to you to get your shit together before it was too late. I thought that you would. Because I believed in you. I guess it was a false sense of hope. . .