See it at the bottom of the page? That is only since Christmas. You guys are here, have at it. Post something. I am still here at the very least, once a day checking. Usually twice a day. Feel free to add on.

Pictures?

send them to info@bradcassidy.com   they will come right to me. Thanks guys!

I'll get them up here for you.

I was told that more than once. I went down to the benefit/memorial show. What a great time that was! Everything seemed to go well. It was really good to meet people who love Brad and people I had met before. Again I apologize to all of you I met up here at the service and did not remember. Please understand that your presence was very important to us, I was really messed up then. Actually I sometimes still am. I did notice everyone that day, but it is a blur in my memory .

Rob, thank you so much!  Keep us posted on dates for future events. Let us know if you need more buttons or anything. A lot of people were asking about the video, we’ll keep you posted on that too.

Just a quick post. From Brad's family. We know it all. We have seen it all. We know who Brad is/was. Put anything you want here. No story is off limits. You won't offend us, you won't shock us. We truly do enjoy all the stories. If it is to much for the front page of the website, we'll move it to the tidbits section with a warning. So please we love Brad the way he was. The true Brad. We do know it all, we just would love to hear the stories, see the pictures, etc.

Here's the link. There is some good information in here and a really nice thing about Brad.

Got a huge blow the other day, it still hurts. It is one thing to talk to each other and mention things about Brad, it is another thing when unsolicited, I get an email from the family tree website I work on telling me about Brad. So, I log on to my computer and get an email that ancestry.com had found a clue that matches someone in my tree, I think oh cool, click on the link and bam!  The record matched Brad, it is the Social Security Death Index. Owwwwwww. It still hurts, it was like someone ran a semi into my gut. I laid my head down on my desk and sobbed like I haven't sobbed in months. For some reason the outside source, hitting me when I was not prepared in any way, was bad.

It's November, his birthday is coming on the 28th. There should be something that feels right, to do on this day, but I haven't thought of it yet. My Mom desperately wants me to find the picture of her pregnant with Brad, right now, while it's the same time.

I have always felt so jealous of the people that got to dream about you, I have had only a dream or two with you in it. It just seems like if someone is dreaming about you they are kind of spending time with you and that is what I am jealous of.   

I meant to do it for over a year now, but I got my tattoo for you. You already know what it means, but it is Japanese Kanji symbols meaning "Peace Baby Brother" . It's still healing in this picture and looks a bit grungy, but you get the idea. 

  I miss you little brother, a lot. It is now a more peaceful state of grief, but not easier or lessened. I am reading the Autobiography of a Tibetan Monk now. We stopped at a Tibetan store at Pike's Place and spent close to an hour talking to the guy there in the store. I now see why you became interested in Tibet and their culture. They are amazing people with their beliefs. I became so fascinated after listening to the guy at the store that as soon as a came home I could not wait to read and learn more about them. I can say, it will not be the only book I read about the Tibetans and the monks.

It feels like it's happening again. Only this time, I know ahead of time. This morning I watched the clock, knowing that sometime late morning he went to the bookstore and bought a couple of books. I have been dreading 10:18 pm all day. I know, at 10:18 pm, he made his last phonecall. I know he made 100 phonecalls everyday. Then at 10:18 pm, it all stopped. Now I am just here, feeling sick, wishing I had a bottle of something to start drinking. I don't know any more times after 10:18, but I have reasons to think 12:09 a.m. holds significance. So, I am sitting here waiting till at least 12:09 a.m. I finally am by myself and it is quiet in here. I needed quiet, I needed to be alone. I know you guys are out there. I know we are all out here. I hope this place is again, somehow helping. For me, it has been amazing. Someplace to go. A common place for a common reason. It is exactly what I had wanted it to be. I am so thankful this family was able to put this together. I really needed/need it. I hope he makes a stop in on somebody.

Brad, you have unfinished business here. You have to stop back.

Anybody out there with pictures, stories, anything, please know, now is the perfect time to share.                  

Kind of like a best seller. huh? Oh God, did you hear she has a new book out? Another peek into the insanity in her head! Yes but it’s so entertaining. I left some spaces for you Mari. :)

I never realized that maybe that’s why I have been sick and /or ailing for months. Nagging, sometimes horrible aches and pains, unexplained fevers, sinus and other infections, and an array of other stuff. It was interesting when I read E.J.’s post and I thought “Wow, that is what is wrong with me, it is physical loss & grief. My body is showing the signs of ongoing grief”. Suffering without words.  I actually, right now, am waiting on the results of a variety of test results from my doctor, trying to figure out what is happening to me. I know now.