Today is a stinger. Tappin my heart and pointing to to the sky. Hoping my internal voice is loud enough for you to hear. Praying the message is received. I hope your rest is sound my friend. I miss your ear. God, if you are there carry me to his side. Guide me by what i was taught. Lead me from his example. For in my friend i found beauty. I may not spell perfect and I may not type to perfection but in my friends presense i felt at home, and i miss that. Hear me Brad wherever you are, your message was received. God send me forth as the champion that has fallen. Let me stand by his example, achieve what he has guided me to.Survive what he has strengthened me for. Most of all god replenish him in my life. I miss his energy. I miss his stamp. Show me that you are able to create one in his likeness, cause i search for him and am dissapointed.
will miss you always my dearest friend
chad
Comments
patrick
So many misunderstood... at least I hope...
Sun, 10/05/2008 - 9:39pmChad, you will always be disappointed looking for someone like Brad. Stop now. We've lost. Christ, I am going to get fruity on you now... Dances with Wolves, if you read the book, the fierce Indian feels in the end that his best friend died to make room for this white man. We can't be naive and, on the rebound, accept the first thing that comes our way, but there are people out there. There are misunderstood people who are in need of being recognized. There are people out there who have the same values. There are people out there who need help.
Never mind. I'm never going to have a blood brother again. That is a fact. I was going to delete everything I just wrote, but I guess it still has merit. I lost the will with so much more to say.
Well, I could sit here all night with the words in front of me, but I'm not able to type. Maybe I'll finish some other time.
For now, I know none of us would want another in Brad's likeness. I would beat this poor person silly for being an impostor.
chad
Deperately seeking Braden
Thu, 10/09/2008 - 9:54pmPatrick,
I too would beat down an imposter. However that was not what I was getting at. In my grief I have looked for Brad in many places and have come up lacking. He was soooo unique that aside from memories I am having a hard time finding him anywhere. This bothers me, in fact it adds to a growing sadness as the reality of the permanance of his loss sets in. He was an inspiration to me and I was blessed to have him in my life. I am not a selfish person though and would like to see more of his wit, humor, and intelligence in everyday life. I feel he did not get a chance to share what he was with enough people (though Brad was loved by an untold mass I still see the benefit in more). This is more what I was getting at. Brad was a double edged sword. He was a big tattoed boisterous (sometimes foul) snowflake. Un-reprodouceable (<----even a word, not likely, spelled right even if it is, less likely) and yet we live in a world that hungers for a truth spoken as he spoke it. His loss is our loss to tap a cliche`. And yes I look for him everywhere. That is what missing someone does to me. I seek them in places that they may not be found. But fuck yeah look I will. Cause frankly I will take what I can get from wherever I can get it. I may beat down an impostor but I will champion the first impersonator I can find cause again I miss him that much. And lacking the conversation/moment that I seek if someone even sounds like him for a moment I will cherish it as though it were an oasis in the desert i find myself currently languishing in. Please do not take this as a rebuttal. I would hope that you understand I am merely continuing a conversation with someone whose opinon actually matters to me. Namely the brother of my brother and therefore to some extent a new and untapped family member.
chad "man enough to reference a modonna movie, lady enough to keep my legs crossed while i do it"
hazelwood
Kris (not verified)
I hope you are a writer someday somewhere, cuz you are here
Fri, 10/10/2008 - 4:57amI don't know if emotion brings out your art, or if it's just you, but your words are like the pictures that make it to the museums, amazing. Every time you describe something, like " a big tattoed boisterous (sometimes foul) snowflake. Un-reprodouceable " - jesus man, it's really top notch, enjoyable and PERFECT. It is so entertaining, and I can see it just flows out of your fingertips. But I tell you, that is an absolutely perfectly amazing way to describe Brad.
Kris
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