One drink to remember, another to forget...

I was eating dinner with Melissa the other day and was having a mighty strong drink. I looked at her and said, “Drinking is not the same as it used to be. I feel so melancholy.” I’m sure you all know how, when you just want to make a statement, sometimes making the statement flips a switch on your emotions. Like when I just want to tell someone, “My mom walked in the room and, when she saw him, she felt peace.” I can be in complete control of my emotions, yet saying those words to someone can well up my eyes. So, I said to Melissa that drinking had changed and, as soon as I said I feel so melancholy, she watched my eyes fill. I just wanted to make a simple statement. Anyway, those who know me can tell when I have been drinking... “What’s up with P? He’s actually talking and smiling.” I am a very happy drunk. Ok, I was a very happy drunk. The mornings can be worse. I think the sugar crash from drinking is a strong depressant with me. Even without a hangover as we all know it, I can feel the most overwhelming sense of despair and hopelessness the morning after. Sometimes even after only one drink. This problem is an old one, but Brad gave me something sad and out of my control to focus on. The only thing that gets me through mornings like that is knowing where it stems from.

Maybe I need to heed the advice, “one drink to remember, another to forget.” Nah, sounds like trouble to me.