Last week, I was driving down River de Peres and I looked to my left and saw your apartment building. The lights were on. I immidiately was reassured that you were home. It really creeped me out. I even thought about visiting your house. I wanted to tell you how much I missed you and how sorry I am for the way things ended between us. I figured you'd invite me in, we'd share a few laughs and all would be well.
I was under such a spell.
The shitty thing is; you aren't going to hear this. I have to figure all this out myself. I realised that soon after. But for some reason I have to keep re-reminding myself. It gets so old and tiresome. So, instead I went home and I cried.
I've been listening to a lot of Tom Waits lately. Can't help but think of you. I know how much you liked him.
The Ocean Doesn't Want Me Today
By Tom Waits
The ocean doesn't want me today
But I'll be back tomorrow to play
And the stranglers will take me
Down deep in their brine
The mischievous braingels
Down into the endless blue wine
I'll open my head and let out
All of my time
I'd love to go drowning
And to stay and to stay
But the ocean doesn't want me today
I'll go in up to here
It can't possibly hurt
All they will find is my beer
And my shirt
A rip tide is raging
And the life guard is away
But the ocean doesn't want me today
The ocean doesn't want me today
Comments
chad
Hurts don't it?
Sat, 07/26/2008 - 7:36pmI have driven by his place from time to time too. Remembered the great times and the not so great. Remembered living there and the fun we had together. Buck up trooper, he is here. He is around. He is the devil on my shoulder and the angel in my memory. He is the motivation to berate a hippy and to ride a bike for peace.Love what he gave us, learn from what he taught us but most of all cherish the time we were gifted. This is a void that cannot be filled but in the same respect a void that I personally never want filled.
Love for my Homey and well wishes for you as well. Heal kid, it's gotta start somewhere might as well be here.
chad
Kris (not verified)
Sacred Ground
Sun, 07/27/2008 - 10:46amChad
It is so comforting to continually hear you say the words that voice so many of my feelings. The feelings I cannot put into words that you so amazingly do.That void is sacred ground, no other shall ever be worthy to tread.
Kris