A Year?

A YEAR?  No  way. Two weeks. MAYBE two months. But Kristin nailed it.  365 days of pain and emptiness and missing Brad. How can I have this big of an empty space inside of me and still hold so much anguish?  KEEP HIM WITH YOU FOREVER PLEASE. DON’T LET HIS ESSENCE SLIP AWAY FROM YOU. If it was different, he would hold any of you close to him always. I hurt. I miss him so so much. He told me so much but he would never tell me who saved him under similar circumstances. But he said “I am grateful” that he saved him. THANK YOU to that person.

There were other times that he was saved. The semi he tangled with in Kentucky, that left his car upside down in the ditch. (And once again Dear Kate went to rescue him) The time he was held up at a St. Louis bus stop with a gun to his head. He was willing to give the robber his money, but flatly refused to hand over his wallet to him. Brad won that round. The mugging in Buffalo, New York.


Are any of the band members from that trip reading this? Remember the Waffle House in Missouri? All you could eat for a reasonably low price. You were all hungry, and money tight, so you ate, and ate, and ate, and ate. And finally, they asked you all to leave because you were able to eat so much more than it cost. Kicked out of a Waffle House, huh.


The Deaf Club in Aurora. Brad wouldn’t usually let me come and hear him play, but he invited me that night. Long time ago. After a set, Brad was dancing. People were bumping into him hard. And I was tensing up, thinking “uh oh, he’s going to slug one of those guys”. Innocent me, I finally figured out that was the style of dancing. When I walked up the street to that club, people started looking at me and saying “Oh, you must be Brad’s Mom”  I guess I didn’t quite fit in with the crowd, but I loved watching and hearing him. Even though the whole song seemed to consist of the words F*** Y** over and over and over.


I am on Kristin’s computer. I have Brad’s set up, but no internet. Soon. Please Brad’s friends, keep in contact with us-Kristin, Patrick, Marianne.  You can’t escape, you are now part of us, and us part of you. And when the time comes, his children need to talk to you and learn more aspects of him. There are a lot. Thank you to his friends who came and those that were there in spirit. We all needed you.


Next weekend, or the one after, I feel a strong need to walk in the Japanese Gardens with, or for Brad. And maybe get the tattoo. I would love his friends there too.We’ll let you know what we are doing.

I'm so glad for his friends that liked him, loved him, respected him and had fun with him. Even though you probably couldn't help it!


Oh, Brad.