Each passing day sucks. I despise the passing of each day. I can't stand the thought of each day that goes by, puts me farther away from my life with him. The life when I had my brother, my mother had her son. I don't like this distance, not at all. I all out sobbed today when I saw the corner of the picture I keep in my truck was curling. The marks that time is leaving. The dust that was on the keys of his computer. The idea that there will be no more phonecalls, no more crude comments, no more visits, no more anything. Just tears. I miss you so much, I cannot stand it. I will find a way to talk to you, I love you little brother, I always did, I pray you knew.
Kris, less one
Comments
laurapearl
Kris,
Tue, 08/26/2008 - 9:40pmI'm sorry we weren't able to meet this weekend. I do hope you had a nice time at the softball game. It sounds like it was a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to meeting you sometime soon!
Kris (not verified)
Same here
Wed, 08/27/2008 - 7:22amI really do enjoy the softball but I was really disappointed that I could not meet you also. We are planning to come down to St. Louis one of these days, hopefully soon. I just feel that it would give me something to be there where Brad spent so many years of his life, and to spend time with the people that knew him and were close to him. This pain is so unbearable, but somehow we still go on. The emptiness and the hole ripped into my being is so big. Like I said before, there was something about Brad that made me feel he was part of me, like we were fused in some way , and now I feel incomplete. My insides feel this emptiness that I cannot stand. I do, every day give thanks for my kids, without them I would have quit. They keep me living and give me the smile and laughter that I would have surely lost. My other saving grace is this website and the words from everyone. Happy, sad, angry, whatever, they keep me going. I never want the talk of him, to him, and about him to stop. Every morning I get up and look to see if anybody has put up something new. If we keep talking, I feel we keep him in the present and not the past, not in the same way as if he was here, but in some way he stays current. I cannot move on without him, so I must keep him current. You played a part in the life of a spectacular person. Thank you
Kris, less one